I need a light

Same things happened about friendship. I don't know what is a real friendship. In the end, I doubt even the friendships that I have kept.

Why do they choose to leave me if I cannot return the same feeling to them?
What was our relationships that I believed w you before?
I understand that I need to respect your choice if it helps you feeling better.
I just wanted to believe "it" was our friendship. But, not...? 


I thought once and twice that it became okay. Now after coming back to the place, why do I feel a distance w you again? Why don't you talk to me from you? Why do you ignore my existence?
Why do I focus on the relationship so much? Coz I see your smile with the other people in front of me. When will you treat me as a friend? 


I have many important people who care me. It is enough, I guess.When I think about them, it makes me cry. I miss them. I miss time that I spent w them.  I don't have to ask for more. But, I just wanna know why I cannot be w the people who left me. I just don't want to give up. I don't want to conclude the situation coz of miscommunication. 

Why? does it happen?
What? did I do?
How? can we be what we are to each other?
When? did it start? will it finish?
Where? should I go...?